The Upside of a Bad Economy

Whew.  And I thought I was the only one.  I recently read in the ‘ol grey lady that large numbers of party-going folks were using the global economic recession as an excuse to get out of soirees they otherwise dreaded and eliminate friends who were never really “friends” in the first place but just keep asking you out because they think you’re someone that they should know.  The society-shedding line,  “you know, we’d love to be there but we really should be cutting back”, is now met with knowing glances, true understanding and very little annoying prodding.  The prodding that won’t quiet such as “Oh, come on.  You know you want to be there! Please come with me, please come with me!”.   But prodding take winter shelter in Miami because we now have a solid gold get-out-of- party jail-free card.  The tumbling economy.  I’ve been trying to use this for weeks but heed my advice;  you have to get creative and vary it up a bit or you’ll end up sounding like the little matchstick girl.  Here are my best hits and although it seems to be working I’m not sure how long I can keep coming up with ways to politely tell people to quit throwing invites my way that cost as much as my imaginary child’s future college education.  

 
“There is no way I’m paying $15 for a glass of wine”

“I just figured out I had On Demand which is so much cheaper than actually going to STK and The Grove!”

“When I have a hit television show, then I’ll join you for drinks at the Peninsula”

“Wow.  That sounds like a big night out.  I’m not sure I want to be that flashy during these tough times”

“I have to wash my hair.  Seriously, I have really long hair and my Beverly Hills stylist is famous now so I can’t even afford to touch his scissors”

“My car is in the shop.  And I know the westside is soooo far you don’t want to waste gas in these tight times – we’ll catch up next week!” (trust me, no one in LA will drive from east of La Cienega to pick you up or recommend you catch a taxi infused with the aroma of red onions so you are sure to get out of any situation with this one)

  

Of course, the genius in using the line is to whittle down invites you never would entertain during flush times but felt too nervous to decline because they were a potential client, an important colleague, friends-of-friends from out of town and so on.  Or for good for friends who don’t actually want to “catch up” specifically but drag your sorry ass out so they can find their boyfriend plan b and finally break up with the guy that will never marry them.  My hope is that the economy excuse will not only get me out of random requests in the short term, but will provide insurance that maybe they will just quit asking in the long term.  

 Let’s hope I don’t run into them at STK.